When I was younger, I was really self-conscious about my name. In elementary school I was always worried that people would make fun of me for having a boy’s name, or an Amish name or a black kid’s name. They did. The worst part was when people would mess up my name. Spelling it wrong was bad enough—no capital V, and a silent e on the end—but the worst was when they’d say it wrong—Lavern, Lavohn, Lavoon.
My name is Lavonne. I am named after my grandfather—and no, that’s not a typo, I really do mean my grandfather. His spells his LeVon, he is my mom’s dad, and his love for music was passed on to me. He’s not one to talk about his feelings, he’d sooner criticize my eating habits then give me a hug, but I know he loves me. I’m proud to have his name.
My middle name is Rosa, after my dad’s mom. She’s brilliant and sassy. Everything you wouldn’t expect from a woman who grew up Amish and wasn’t supposed to finish the 8th grade. When my mom uses my middle name, I know I’m in trouble. In high school, it usually meant I’d forgotten to get up for school on time, now it usually means that I forgot to take the clothes out of the dryer or get the cookies out of the oven. Even though my mom uses it when she’s being serious, I still think it’s the most beautiful name. The beginning is strong as the R fills up your mouth with vibrations, but the end of it slides out of your mouth the way that water droplets flow off your fingers when you hold your arms just right in the shower.
Eventually kids at school got used to my name, and I got used to never being able to find it on keychains or those mini license plates or anything. And Word documents always think I spelled my name wrong and I meant to say "Lionel" or "lavender" instead.
As a 21-year old, I have lost a lot of that fear about the unusualness of my name. I love knowing that I’m the only Lavonne that most of my peers know. When people think “Lavonne,” they don’t have other people popping into their heads to define what that word means to them, just me.
It’s all up to me. I’m unique. I can define my name for others, even though parts of it have already been defined for me. I'm a brand-new compilation of two already established names and people. My name is exactly what I chose to make it mean.
I really appreciate the way in which you have been able to embrace your name and its uniqueness. It is special to have a name that you do not share with at least one person everywhere you go.
ReplyDeleteThere is something meaningful in having a name (first and middle) passed down from family members. This was not part of my experience, and it is a wonderful way to share your heritage with others. It is also neat that your name can be used for different kinds of people. It allows for a sense of mystery as to whether you are male or female, white or black, Amish or English.
I am curious as to how your name translates in other cultures. How would a Spanish-speaker or Swahili-speaker approach your name?
Having known you since high school, I remember how I used to call you "Lavoon" during Student Publications. I apologize for this, I never meant for it to be irritating, just a form of endearment.
ReplyDeleteApologies aside, I can never get over how neat it is to have your mother's father, and your father's mother's names. After thinking about this a few minutes, I realized had my parents chose these names I would have definitely been made fun of. How does "Cletus Joy" grab your funny bone?
I identify with you when your parents use first and middle names to imply they are serious; however, my mother uses my first two names as a hint for me to stop talking, or because I've said something rude. It is often a wonder as to why parents seem to do this to us when--on some level--we know they did the exact same things. Personally I think this a bit of a double standard.
Finally, have you given any thought as to how you will name your own children (if you have any)? Will the formula "mother's father, father's mother" still remain the same for you?
I definitely love the way you have grown to love the uniqueness of your name. It is true: not many people will know someone with the same name. It is nice to know that you are the only person that people will think of when they hear that name. You have your own unique identity that starts the moment someone hears your name. I have no grown up with that same surrounding. There has always been another Krista around. I have had to define which one I am to many people. I am my own person but to others, I have to define who I am, which Krista they are getting to know.
ReplyDeleteI can also identify with the use of middle names. Mine is only used when my parents are serious with me. It usually means that I am in trouble for something. Maybe I didn't clean my room, maybe I didn't take care of the dishes I used. Since I have been off to college, I haven't heard it as much. My parents aren't around to get upset with me for forgetting things. But I still hear some people's middle names and still it seems to be when someone is serious about something. Why is this? Why is a middle name used to emphasize when something is more serious? People have some awesome middle names with some cool meaning behind them. So, why aren't they more common and used even when someone isn't upset?
You're actually the second Lavonne I have met (though I still view your name as unique, never fear!). The other Lavonne I know is a middle-aged woman from my home church – and I get the impression that she always struggled with other people messing with her name, too. I wonder if she also had run-ins with people expecting it to be a man's name (I for one, have only heard it in reference to a woman, though being named after someone, regardless of gender, is pretty awesome).
ReplyDeleteWhen I told her I knew of another Lavonne she was pretty surprised; I think she never expected the name to turn up in our generation. So in some ways, not only are you unique in your generation, but you are also furthering a tradition that future generations might pick up on.
Out of curiosity, what does your name translate to? I associate it with Mennonites/the Amish, so perhaps its Germanic in origin?
I never thought your name was considered a boy's name. It sounds like t can be a girls name. I remember a girl from middle school being named lavonne. She was a black girl who was certainly a character. Everyday she would be dancing to the latest hip-hop song. She was a cool person. I think it would be funny if you had that characteristic.
ReplyDeleteI do think it is good that you have lost that fear. Your name says much about a person and if you are afraid of your name then you are being afraid to be yourself. Plus, you are the only Lavonne I know now, so I would like to call you by your name.
Lavonne, is actually a beautiful name and its funny how people categorize things. I will say that you do have what is considered a "black" name, but its spelled differently. The way your name is spelled would be more french in my opinion, but i'm not really sure. My name is very common, and the same thing happens to me where people would see my name and expect to see this white guy walk in the room, not a 6'6 black guy. I struggled with that as well growing up, being teased about my name, but it was mainly my last name that was at the "BUT"ler of all jokes.... For a while in high school they would call me D Buts, which really bothered me, so I shortened it to DB, those are my initials but I wanted them to really stop calling me D Buts. Anyway, your name is unique in spelling and the purpose and meaning behind its origin, Your grandfather must have been a good person for you to be named after him, honor should be taken with that and cherished in knowing that you can make a greater name for your grandfather but from a females experiences!
ReplyDeleteI can understand where you are coming from when you talk about the unusualness of your name. My name is hard for people to spell or say, especially my last name, so I've been called many crazy things throughout my life. I like having such a unique name, because it helps me feel like I'm an individual. Sure, there are other Rikki/Ricky's out there, but I haven't met many at all. And, like you, I'm sure I'm the only Rikki that a lot of my friends know. When they hear my name, they automatically think of me. Or, at least, that's what I hope is happening. I know from experience that when I hear "Lavonne," you are the first person that pops into my head.
ReplyDeleteI think it is great that your parents named you after family; for a while I wanted that to have my first name to have some sort of connection to the families I was apart of, more than just a last name saying that I am part of my fathers family. Over the years I have begun to enjoy the fact that my name is unique from my family; it has no history to it, like you I can define what my name means to others and to my family.
ReplyDeleteI also want to apologize for calling you Lavoon.
Lavonne, your name contains multitudes, as Walt Whitman would say! The way you describe it, it's a quintessentially original and multicultural name, embracing Amish and African American resonances as well as crossing genders from grandfather to granddaughter. (Personally, I always thought your name was French!) Your storytelling here is delightful. I can see through your changing relationship with your name, that sometimes involved embarrassment and irritation, that you have truly "grown into" an appreciation of its many dimensions and have fully owned it. I love what you say at the end, that even though the name was given to you by others, it is up to you to give the name the meaning it has for others by the way you live it. It's a beautiful name!
ReplyDeleteP.S. on the responses--Lavonne, your honesty and storytelling abilities have clearly inspired similar impulses in your readers, some of whom have known you for a long time. I appreciate that several long-time acquaintances took the opportunity to apologize to you for calling you Lavoon and that Daniel was willing to share his own embarrassing experiences with nicknaming. Awesome interaction here!
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